


when i watch the world burn, all i think about is you

by oceanicspirit



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 07:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18615730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanicspirit/pseuds/oceanicspirit
Summary: she was his future, his home, his everything





	when i watch the world burn, all i think about is you

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo remember in my previous fic, I stated that I was gonna do a week grace period before I wrote anything with spoilers........
> 
> Yea me too. I'm sorry guys, I just couldn't wait, I had to write and post it because I want to do it for you guys. 
> 
> So yes there will be spoilers in this fic, so be warned if you haven't seen the movie and are trying to avoid spoilers.
> 
> Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of any characters
> 
> Title inspired by "Dooms Day" by Bastille
> 
> SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!

He sighs as he finishes his carving. 

_ A swan _

He remembers when Natasha told him that she used to do ballet and one of her favorite dances was  _ Swan Lake _ . So he carves a swan in memory of her. It took hours to finish because tears danced in his eyes and he needed a minute to regain his composure.

_ (The moment he came back with Bruce, Scott and Tony, Steve immediately sensed something was wrong. He noticed there was no sign of Natasha next to Clint. The haunted look in the archer’s eyes was all he needed. _

_ No _

_ God please no _

_ “Cap…” _

_ “Where is she?” _

_ Clint swallowed the lump in his throat, “She’s gone Cap. Gave herself up just for this goddamn stone!” He threw the stone on the ground, not giving a shit if it broke or not.  _

_ Steve felt his heart break…..no not break. _

_ Shatter _

_ “What do you mean Clint?” Bruce asked. _

_ “The requirement was a soul for a soul. And Nat…” Clint couldn’t speak. “She gave her life just so we could save everyone else.” _

_ So much emotion swirled in Steve’s heart. _

_ Pain _

_ Sadness _

_ Anger _

_ Regret _

_ ‘We can get her back after all of this,’ Steve thought. ‘We can bring her back just like we can with everyone else.’) _

Steve now stands alongside Pepper and Morgan during Tony’s funeral. Everyone thought that he would want something spectacular and show stopping, but instead his last wish was a private and personal funeral. Pepper placed a small wreath in the water, in the middle was Tony’s very first arc reactor with the word’s “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.”

After everyone left or headed inside, it was just Steve, Bruce, Clint, Wanda, Fury, Hill, Bucky and Sam that stayed by the lake. Steve walked towards the water and placed the swan carving on it. On its back was a picture of Natasha that Steve had drawn. It was a picture he had drawn during their stay in Wakanda, when both he and Natasha had taken a day off and enjoyed each other’s company. The moment the sun was setting, Steve had looked at Natasha, the soft glow of the sun gave her an ethereal beauty in which he committed to memory and drew her the moment he entered his room in the palace. 

“I miss her too Steve, we all do,” Clint placed a comforting shoulder on the super soldier.

“She was like a daughter to me,” Fury spoke up, his voice soft and trembling. “I just wished I could have told her how damn proud I am of her.”

*****

It took all of Steve’s strength to listen to Bruce as he explained his mission.

Return all the stones to their proper timeline.

Steve wonders if he could use the stones to bring her back. But Bruce knows what he’s thinking.

“I tried Steve, I tried to bring her back too... it’s just not possible.” 

That was the final nail on the coffin for Steve. The person who was supposed to be his future was dead and couldn’t be brought back. 

*****

Steve was succeeding in bringing the stones back in the correct timeline. He had two more stones left.

_ Space _

_ Soul _

He knew where he had to go next and set the coordinates for his next jump.

*****

Successfully he placed the Space Stone back in it’s container. And headed off to his next destination.

*****

He exhaled as he stood in front of a door, he set the coordinates to set himself a few years after World War 2. His hand shook as he brought his closed fist to the door and gave three knocks. No answer he knocked again, and again.

“Alright, I’m coming,” opening the door he bore into gorgeous brown eyes. “Steve?”

“Hey Peg,” he gave her a shaky smile.

“You’re alive.” She let out a choked sob and hugged him. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d come by for that rain check on that dance I owe you.”

Peggy nodded and led him into her apartment. Soft jazz played as they held each other, gently swaying.

“I missed you.” She mumbled into his chest.

“I missed you too Peg.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “But you’re not  _ my  _ Steve, are you?”

“Nothing can get passed you,” he gave her a sad smile. “I’m from the future actually. I’m on a mission to return some stuff that me and my team borrowed to save the world.”

Peggy just laughed, “And did you?”

“We did, we did Peg.”

_ The war is over Steve _

_ We can go home _

Was this home? Here with Peggy? He could come back to her again after returning the Soul Stone.

“Steve, are you okay?”

He blinked a couple of times before he could answer. “I’m alright Peggy, I just missed you that’s all. It’s been tough for me.”

“I can tell Steve, your eyes say it all. But I could tell you suffered a great loss.”

“Right again Agent Carter.” His eyes full of sorrow. “I lost someone, someone who... _ is _ important to me.”

“You love her.”

Steve looked at her with confusion. “What do you mean?”

“She’s the reason why you’re hesitating about staying here, here with  _ me _ .” He could see how understanding and accepting Peggy was. “Because she’s gone, you want to stay in a time that you’re familiar with. In a time that you haven’t someone you love.”

Steve let out a small chuckle. “You’re a damn good spy Peggy.”

The brunette gave him a smile. “Of course I am Captain Rogers. But Steve, I can’t let you stay here. It’s not right and selfish of me to want so.”

“But Peggy, I want to stay here as well... _ please _ .”

Peggy shook her head and cupped his face. “I can’t let you do that Steve. If you stay, you will never truly accept the fact that she’s gone. You will never truly move on. I can’t let you have a life full of regret.”

She was right, the main reason why he wanted to stay with Peggy was because was Natasha was gone. He was scared to move on and accept Natasha’s death. 

“Do as Peggy says,” he whispers, “that’s what I always said right?”

“Damn right Captain Rogers. So go, do what needs to be done.”

Steve embraced the woman and held her close, “I’m going to miss you Peggy.”

“At least we got our dance.”

“We got our dance.” He took a step back and took one last look at Peggy. He set the coordinates. “Goodbye Peggy.”

“Goodbye Steve.” With that Steve headed off Vormir in 2014.

*****

He looked up and saw the two towers that would lead him to where he had to bring the Soul Stone. 

“Steven Grant Rogers, Son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers.”

The hairs on Steve’s neck stood. This voice sounded so familiar. His eyes widened as he saw a black floating figure head towards him, it wasn’t until he saw who’s face it was that made Steve clench his fists.

“Red Skull.”

“Stand down Captain America, I am not the same Red Skull as I was all those years ago.”

Steve could sense there was no hostility in the man in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

“To guide those who seek the Soul Stone, or in your case, return it.”

“Lead the way.”

It felt like hours, but Steve knew he was taking his time. He was heading to where Natasha had sacrificed herself to save everyone. He wasn’t sure if he was ready or not.

“We are here Captain.” Red Skull levitated a few feet away to give Steve space.

The soldier walked towards the edge and looked down. His left hand clenched as it held the Soul Stone. 

“The stone Captain, you must return it.”

Steve’s left arm moved and was about to throw it, but he stopped, instead he fell onto his knees and started to cry.

“I just wished we had more time,” Steve’s shoulders trembled. “I should have asked you to stay before I went off looking for Bucky after SHIELD fell.” All the regrets were piling.

_ Should have asked you to come _

_ Should have asked you to stay _

_ Should have asked you out _

_ Shouldn’t have waited _

_ “What are you doing here?” _

_ “I didn’t want you to be alone.” _

“You left me...you left me alone Nat.” Tears streamed down his face. “You left me alone Nat. I can’t live this life without you.” His body shook in pain, anger and sorrow. “Even with Bucky and Sam back, I just couldn’t. You were always by my side.” He opened his left hand and looked at the Soul Stone. “You know how hard it was not to have you by my side as we fought Thanos and his army?” His hand closed.

The hits he took from Thanos, all he could think was Natasha. Images of her face and the moments they shared, flashed before him. He was ready to accept death, but he couldn’t also let her sacrifice be in vain. He had to stand tall for her. 

“I need you Natasha, I still do. I should have asked you to stay before I went to look for Bucky. I shouldn’t have waited so long.” His body was racking from the tears he was shedding. 

“Captain the stone,” Red Skull spoke up, “you must return it.”

He fumbled as he stood up. His left arm extending.

“I love you Natasha.” His hand dropped the stone and he found himself looking at a bright light. He woke up to a soft orange scenery. 

“The war is over Steve, we can go home.” Peggy stood in front of him and held her hand out.

He couldn’t take her hand, it didn’t feel right. “My home was…. _ is _ Natasha Romanoff.”

Peggy smiled at him and faded

*****

Steve could hear the small waves of water. He opened his eyes and found himself looking at the scenery of Vormir. His heart hurt but he knew he would heal in time, now it was time to head home. He brought his right hand up and set the coordinates to take him back.

*****

The super soldier found himself in a familiar spot. Everything was quiet, save the the rustling leaves in the trees. He saw Bruce wide eye.

“Bruce what’s wrong?”

“Cap, you need to see this.” Sam spoke up.

“What do you mean?”

“Steve,” Bucky placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Go.”

“I don’t understand.” His eyes followed to where all three was staring and saw a figure sitting on a bench. “Is that….”

“Go punk,” Bucky pushed him. “ _ Go _ .” 

Steve’s legs felt heavy as he headed to the bench, his heart raced and sat next to the figure.

“I definitely missed a lot during that  _ one _ minute.”

“You did, Tony died to defeat Thanos. But you sacrificed yourself to save everyone.”

“It felt right, a way to wipe out all that red in my ledger.”

Steve understood, in way it was for her to make amends with all the wrongs she made. “I know, but it was hard, to accept you were gone. When Thanos kept hitting me, all I could think about is you.”

“So what kept you going?”

“You did Nat, you did. You always did, you were my rock in this century. I was so lost without you. You left me alone.”

“I’m sorry Steve, truly I am.”

“But you came back, I don’t know how, but you did.”

“I guess a soul for a soul works both ways.” Her green eyes sparkled in amusement.

Steve just chuckled. “Seems right.” 

“You could’ve stayed with her.” 

He knows she means Peggy. “Peggy knew I had to accept you were gone. That I couldn’t stay with her living with this regret. So she let me go.” 

“Was she glad she had you back?”

“She was, I finally got my dance.”

“I’m glad Steve,” she smiled at him. “You deserve it.”

“I’m glad too, I got both my dance and my home.”

Natasha raised a brow, “What do you mean  _ home _ .”

Steve held her hand, “ _ You _ ...you are my home Natasha. The war is over and I can finally go home.”

Natasha laughed as a few tears escaped her eyes. “Has anyone ever told you how dramatic you are?”

“Yes,” he grinned.

The redhead scooted closer to the super soldier and laid her head on his shoulder. “So home, huh? Where’s that?”

“Home is anywhere you are Natasha. As long as you’re by my side.”

“How about Brooklyn,” Sam stood next to them. “I’m sure you can afford a place in Brooklyn.” 

“Brooklyn sounds good.” Natasha smiled.

“Brooklyn it is.” Steve wrapped an arm around her.

“You can take the boy out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take Brooklyn out of the boy.” Bucky mused as he stood next to Sam.

They all laughed at that. Steve felt himself at peace. He looked at Natasha and she looked back at him. Leaning down he kissed her passionately and deeply. Pulling apart he could see the playful gleam in her eyes.

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?”

Steve laughed, “Definitely not, but as a certain redhead once said; Everybody needs practice.” 

*****

The sound of soft jazz music could be heard in a small house in Brooklyn. A couple slowly swayed in the living room, their shadows dancing along the walls and on the pictures on table. One was the couple’s first date at a diner sharing a milkshake. Another was the man proposing to the woman in front of the Eiffel Tower. And the last one was the two of them kissing at their wedding. 

The soft glow of the sun setting peered through the curtains. The soft light gleaming onto the dog tags the woman wore and finally setting onto their joined hands where it shone on their wedding rings. 

Bright cerulean eyes and sparkling emerald eyes meet. Steve’s hand gently cupped her face. Leaning down he brought Natasha into a soft and passionate kiss. 


End file.
